My name is Jenny, and welcome to my blog "Girl Adopted". I was inspired to use this title by a particularly hilarious (hilarious to me) series of adoptee memes on a fellow adoptee's blog. For an idea of what I am talking about, see http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/35829852.jpg
By way of introduction, here is a little of my life story.  I was born to a young single mother in 1969. When I was born, I stayed in the hospital for one month before being taken home by my adoptive parents. I was raised in a church-going family, and enjoyed going to church and hearing the preaching, being a very sensitive and spiritually-minded kid. (Think Lisa Simpson and Todd Flanders all rolled into one). I had a lot of issues (post-adoption issues, in fact, but I didn't know the name or the cause) and was very disturbed by the fact that I seemingly had no-one to talk to about my doubts, anxieties and fears.

I began to experiment with drugs and alcohol (I read years later that what I was doing is called self-medicating in certain circles), and began to seek belonging and comfort,  in relationships that were not healthy ('nuff said for now). As reading the bible, and hearing preaching or teaching, made me feel uncomfortable, I continued drifting and explored other philosophies and belief systems.

I was not prepared for leaving home at the end of my school career, and had very little confidence in things such as catching public transport or dealing with people. (What I was experiencing was anxiety, which has been a recurring theme throughout my life). As I had been accepted into a course at college, and had no clue what I wanted to do with my life, I began my first year of college away from home, but found that my extreme anxiety and lack of confidence hindered me in my studies, and even going to the library and asking for assistance from the librarians was a fearful concept. I bluffed my way through my first year at college, but my inattentiveness and tendency to drift into daydreams, as well as my aversion to going to the library (those librarians were pretty scary to me at the time), caught up with me, and I took what seemed to be a good path at the time, leaving at the end of my first year. 

I "muddled through" much of my life for the next few years, trying to be what I thought everyone else wanted me to be and not really knowing who I was. After some bad choices in the romantic department, I married my best friend in 1997 and we had three beautiful children. Having children simultaneously grounded me (I had purpose) and triggered a wave of rejection and abandonment issues. My husband and I had been searching for meaning and had been praying every day and reading the bible for several years, and during a particularly difficult time of our lives the following thing happened:  One day, when he was catching the train two work and I was driving in the car with my young children, we prayed the same prayer unknowingly but in great desperation. The paraphrased version of the prayer was, “God, I’ve messed up my life. I don’t know what else to do. I’ve tried fixing it my way, but it’s just not working. I give up. I give it all to you. Please take over, and I’ll do whatever you tell me to.”

ENTER JESUS.

My husband and I were invited to church and experienced God's presence and healing, and  experiencing much healing and deliverance. We were both baptised on the same day (I literally felt as though heavy weights were taken off me at baptism) and three days later we "rose again", being filled with the Holy Ghost in our loungeroom as some friends prayed for us (yep, we are a couple of  tham thar tongue-talkin' folk). 

God's promise (rhema word) to me:

Isaiah 64

A Perpetual Covenant of Peace

54 “Sing, O barren,
You who have not borne!
Break forth into singing, and cry aloud,
You who have not labored with child!
For more are the children of the desolate
Than the children of the married woman,” says the Lord.
2 “Enlarge the place of your tent,
And let them stretch out the curtains of your dwellings;
Do not spare;
Lengthen your cords,
And strengthen your stakes.
3 For you shall expand to the right and to the left,
And your descendants will inherit the nations,
And make the desolate cities inhabited.

4 “Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed;
Neither be disgraced, for you will not be put to shame;
For you will forget the shame of your youth,
And will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore.
5 For your Maker is your husband,
The Lord of hosts is His name;
And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel;
He is called the God of the whole earth.
6 For the Lord has called you
Like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit,
Like a youthful wife when you were refused,”
Says your God.
7 “For a mere moment I have forsaken you,
But with great mercies I will gather you.
8 With a little wrath I hid My face from you for a moment;
But with everlasting kindness I will have mercy on you,”
Says the Lord, your Redeemer.

9 “For this is like the waters of Noah to Me;
For as I have sworn
That the waters of Noah would no longer cover the earth,
So have I sworn
That I would not be angry with you, nor rebuke you.
10 For the mountains shall depart
And the hills be removed,
But My kindness shall not depart from you,
Nor shall My covenant of peace be removed,”
Says the Lord, who has mercy on you.

11 “O you afflicted one,
Tossed with tempest, and not comforted,
Behold, I will lay your stones with colorful gems,
And lay your foundations with sapphires.
12 I will make your pinnacles of rubies,
Your gates of crystal,
And all your walls of precious stones.
13 All your children shall be taught by the Lord,
And great shall be the peace of your children.
14 In righteousness you shall be established;
You shall be far from oppression, for you shall not fear;
And from terror, for it shall not come near you.
15 Indeed they shall surely assemble, but not because of Me.
Whoever assembles against you shall fall for your sake.

16 “Behold, I have created the blacksmith
Who blows the coals in the fire,
Who brings forth an instrument for his work;
And I have created the spoiler to destroy.
17 No weapon formed against you shall prosper,
And every tongue which rises against you in judgment
You shall condemn.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
And their righteousness is from Me,”
Says the Lord.

Verse 11 says "O you afflicted one,

Tossed with tempest, and not comforted". I have gotten to know many other adoptees in the last couple of years, and I think many of them would understand why this particular verse, and several others, often brings me to tears. I will explain over the next few posts why...